No, you cannot be that lost

With 10 stories, 7 restaurants and an entire city block under its foundation, the Macy’s of Herald Square in New York city proudly boasts the name “America’s Largest Department Store”.   As the holidays quickly approach, hoards of visitors from around the world come to see the spectacle that is home to the Thanksgiving Day Parade and Miracle on 34th Street.  As you can imagine, these  wide-eyed and bushy-tailed voyagers have no clue where they’re going. 

Cue the clever yet unnecessary app! 

Macy’s has unveiled an indoor GPS iPhone app that gives turn-by-turn directions to guide the eager shopper through perfume counters, clothing racks and shoe departments alike.  Listen, I’m in the technology field and think this is actually a creative use of the GPS feature but let’s re-evaluate the repercussions of this.  Now instead of trudging through the chaos with semi-alert tourists, you will be dealing with a bunch of head-down autobots attempting to get to Aunt Annie’s on the 4th floor while never once looking up.  To make sure this has a creepy factor, they will also be able to track your every movement around the store and bombard you with ads of things you clearly don’t need nearby.  Very clever retail trick, Macy’s; fortunately I only get into the store about once a year and now with your handy app I’ll be in and out to use your public restroom in a flash.

No, you cannot break the pool rules

Growing up in Florida you spend a lot of time at the pool.  The advantages of this, as most good things in life, come with a few choice rules.  Don't run on the pool deck, don't bring glass containers in the pool area, no diving in the shallow end- pretty standard across the board.  A friend was at a Ft. Lauderdale pool when she spotted the regular signage, though this one had some extras that need not be said aloud.  Read down the list- you decide which is the most disturbing; I'll go ahead and give you my opinion:

1) The maximum water temperature of the pool at 104 degrees Fahrenheit also happens to be the regulation maximum temperature for a hot tub- these things are not used for the the same recreational purpose, therefore they should not be the same temperature.

2) If you are having unpredictable bowel movements, you should not be any where near a body of water.  No floaters, please.

3) Shouldn't they warn you that the water is recirculated prior to the whole feces situation?

It never ceases to amaze me what people will do in public; obviously there is a reason they had to update this sign with unconventional criteria in the first place (exact address of pool to come- Floridians and tourists alike, enter at your own risk).

**UPDATE**

Received a tip-off from an angel of a friend in SoFlo. Pool is located at Bahia Cabana - 3001 Harbor Drive (A1A), Ft Lauderdale, FL 33316.  SB 2012 anyone?