No, you cannot take off your shoes

Unpleasant public places are especially unpleasant as you usually have no way to escape. One of the ultimate offenders is the airport security line.  While at LaGuardia preparing for an early trip to Chicago, a father and son stepped in front of my friend and I at security.  The normal events began to take place- laptop out of bag, belt off, shoes removed... and then it happened.  I'm not sure if the smell is even describable but it was surely coming from none other than the son's sweaty, socked feet on a 90 degree day.  Truly a test of will power not to stampede through and risk possible arrest, we had no choice but to wait behind him to pass through the metal detector. As I walked under the canopied machine, two TSA agents began to realize why we hadn't taken a breath in 3 minutes; one proceeded to spray down the conveyer belt with Lysol, hoping to save what was left of the people in line.  By the time I got to the other side, my friend realized that smelly feet had left his plane ticket in the bin; neither of us wanted to personally return it in fear of being that close to what was growing in his sneakers.  Either way, we found out his name is Rafael and his seat was at least 15 rows in front of ours.  No one likes a plane neighbor who removes their shoes to get comfy, as the poor guy sitting next to Rafael would soon learn.  I hear Odor-Eaters does wonders for this issue, as does wearing sandals in the height of summer.

No, you cannot fight like cats and dogs

Last summer I brought you a story about a Care Bear meandering down Broadway and offended said Care Bear, leading to a surplus of comments in which he claims that being a Furry is completely normal.  I still beg to differ with this notion.

Recently my friend happened to be sitting at her apartment window on Gay Street in Greenwich Village when a group of 'Fursuiters' appeared out of the blue.  Some 20+ cats and dogs came running down the alley making war for no apparent reason, then peacefully huddling once the winner had been decided.  This seems to be a growing trend that I just can't get behind; in case you're interested, though, it's easy to find a Furry meet-up in a town near you!

I can't make this stuff up.