No, you cannot go all-out commando

Down in the warm city of Ft. Lauderdale, FL women can be seen trotting around in next to nothing and calling it clothing just to survive possible heat stroke.  My best friend and her fiance unfortunately see one such woman far too often, one who bothers wearing nothing at all.  This woman, known as "Big Bertha", is apparently homeless and camps out on the regs on a public bench stationed outside this innocent Walgreens.   If the photo isn't enough, Bertha was arrested recently and "...charged with exposure of sexual organs in public and was initially held on a $100 bond, according to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel."  Bertha claims she was just changing her clothes which is why she happened to be found naked on the bus bench.  Poor attorney Steve Rossi, his advertisement on that bench is forever tainted with Bertha's body excretions; maybe he can have her kept in jail or, at the very least, comp her an orange jumpsuit.

No, you cannot break the pool rules

Growing up in Florida you spend a lot of time at the pool.  The advantages of this, as most good things in life, come with a few choice rules.  Don't run on the pool deck, don't bring glass containers in the pool area, no diving in the shallow end- pretty standard across the board.  A friend was at a Ft. Lauderdale pool when she spotted the regular signage, though this one had some extras that need not be said aloud.  Read down the list- you decide which is the most disturbing; I'll go ahead and give you my opinion:

1) The maximum water temperature of the pool at 104 degrees Fahrenheit also happens to be the regulation maximum temperature for a hot tub- these things are not used for the the same recreational purpose, therefore they should not be the same temperature.

2) If you are having unpredictable bowel movements, you should not be any where near a body of water.  No floaters, please.

3) Shouldn't they warn you that the water is recirculated prior to the whole feces situation?

It never ceases to amaze me what people will do in public; obviously there is a reason they had to update this sign with unconventional criteria in the first place (exact address of pool to come- Floridians and tourists alike, enter at your own risk).

**UPDATE**

Received a tip-off from an angel of a friend in SoFlo. Pool is located at Bahia Cabana - 3001 Harbor Drive (A1A), Ft Lauderdale, FL 33316.  SB 2012 anyone?