No, you cannot lick my cake

I distinctly remember as a 5th grader loving Cinnaburst gum.  Not only was it tasty but you could even chew the white paper wrapping flecked with tiny cinnamon flavor crystals; what 10 year old didn't want to do that?  Apparently a confection company in London wondered the same thing but then acted on it, leading to disaster.  The Senior Brand Manager at McVitie's thought it a marvelous portrayal of wit and intoxication of one's youth to line an office elevator with lickable wallpaper.  The paper portrays over 1,000 Jaffa Cakes, giving the 9-to-5 drone "a little joy"in their stressful day.  Descriptive phrases such as "crackly chocolate" and "orangey bits" are not helping their cause; co-workers can crawl on the floor or even stand on their tiptoes to reach the highest cakes.  Not to worry, my friends, the cakes are apparently "refreshed" so you don't pass cooties (or mono, but whatever you want to call it).  The only way this would work is if the cakes were legitimately refreshed every single time someone stepped foot in or out of that elevator.  No, on second thought that clearly would not work either.  Sorry McVitie's, stick to selling biscuits and you may not completely tarnish your name. And fire that Senior Brand Manager while you're at it.

This can't be real life