No, you cannot take off your shoes

Unpleasant public places are especially unpleasant as you usually have no way to escape. One of the ultimate offenders is the airport security line.  While at LaGuardia preparing for an early trip to Chicago, a father and son stepped in front of my friend and I at security.  The normal events began to take place- laptop out of bag, belt off, shoes removed... and then it happened.  I'm not sure if the smell is even describable but it was surely coming from none other than the son's sweaty, socked feet on a 90 degree day.  Truly a test of will power not to stampede through and risk possible arrest, we had no choice but to wait behind him to pass through the metal detector. As I walked under the canopied machine, two TSA agents began to realize why we hadn't taken a breath in 3 minutes; one proceeded to spray down the conveyer belt with Lysol, hoping to save what was left of the people in line.  By the time I got to the other side, my friend realized that smelly feet had left his plane ticket in the bin; neither of us wanted to personally return it in fear of being that close to what was growing in his sneakers.  Either way, we found out his name is Rafael and his seat was at least 15 rows in front of ours.  No one likes a plane neighbor who removes their shoes to get comfy, as the poor guy sitting next to Rafael would soon learn.  I hear Odor-Eaters does wonders for this issue, as does wearing sandals in the height of summer.

No, you cannot promote foot fungus

Apparently there's a new movement where people are going out in public barefoot.  I'm sorry, I do not get this.  If you've ever taken a look at a sidewalk you'll find everything from broken glass to the remnants of a dog's morning walk waiting for you by the curb.  Although I don't think this is a normal occurrence, these deranged groups say it's completely safe.

While out recently I happened to catch a girl who seemed to be trying out this theory.  She decided that enduring the pain of her high heels was not worth the possible contraction of ringworm and abandoned her strappy sandals for the sticky bar floor.  This is simply unacceptable.  You do not know what bodily fluid or invisible remnant tracked in from the streets is waiting to attach itself to your permanent soles.  Pain is beauty, people; invest in some Dr. Scholl's and deal with it.