No, you cannot make my coffee fat

One of the steps to becoming a true New Yorker is taking your coffee black.  I've just about made it to that point, only adding a quick splash of milk to curb the edge.  Today I heard a commercial about a new flavor of International Delight coffee creamer in the form of Cold Stone Creamery Sweet Cream.  Upon further exploration, I found the rainbow of other cake-in-a-cup options including Cinnabon, Almond Joy, and Southern Butter Pecan.  I admit to having a sweet tooth but these flavors err on the side of absurd.  Black coffee has maybe 5 calories; adding any of these to your caffeine fix will throw in up to 7 times that plus all sorts of ingredients you can't pronounce.  Way to try to spin this one, International Delight; if I'm going to consume a bunch of crap any way it may as well taste good.  Bring on the waffle bowl and cookie dough crumble, please.