No, you cannot accost me on my morning commute

This story comes from our very own Sasha Fierce via a co-worker who had an interesting morning...

"I woke up a bit late today- showered, got dressed, grabbed my umbrella and tried to catch the 8:30 am train. As you know, around that time the subways are packed with people but to my delight the car I entered was barely full. Early morning victory!  Short-lived...

The doors open and 6 - 7 people flood in before me.... the car is getting full so I try and wiggle my way through to the middle where there is open space. As I get on I notice a man in a wheelchair, who couldn't have been more than 30 years old, on the opposite side of the car. He was dressed in a black Ramones t-shirt, tattered jeans, and had a chlorine colored Mohawk, fairly normal for the New York crowd.  A plus to my morning, he was attempting to sing off of a piece of paper; judging by the mood of the commuter crowd, the tunes were not welcome. Around 23rd street his voice started shrieking as more people entered the train; unfazed, I began walking towards the middle of the car trying to get to open space. Unfortunately, his wheelchair was in the way, and in order to get to the middle of the car I had to step past him- a common move on a busy train.

He was singing as I made my first attempt to step past him but he suddenly stopped, bent over, and put his hands right in front of my shins to stop me. I looked at him puzzled for a second, but he didn’t say anything, just kept his hands there. I said excuse me but he still didn’t move. Determined to get to the middle of the car, I again attempted to step past this crazy a-hole. He then went completely insane.

He started punching me in the calf and thigh then swung at the family jewels, at which point I pushed aside my compassion for his situation and knocked his hands away while running in the opposite direction. Keep in mind there are 30 - 40 other people in the car all watching this insanity occur. I was completely bewildered by his actions and asked him what the f he was doing. He looked at me and then... spit in my face. The on-lookers let out a collective gasp which lead to a domino effect of screaming throughout the car.

I didn’t know what to do!  I wiped the spit off my face and tried to collect myself before I did something I would regret.  A couple of nice ladies gave me a wet nap so I could remove the filth from my face.  After about 2 minutes of the crowd screaming at him the mood calms and people are asking if I'm alright.  Meanwhile, the insanity continues as he wheels around asking for money for his sub-sub-par performance.  The New Yorkers live up to their stereotype and tell him to go f himself, while one large, scary looking guy says to him, "If you even look at me I'll kill you."  He stops and sits humming to himself for the remainder of the ride. We stop at 59^th street.  It's not over.

As I turn to walk out the door a small Latina woman who saw this whole thing go down tears the umbrella out of my hands and proceeds to BEAT THE GUY OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!! Unreal. She started screaming and smacking him with it; as wheelchair guy tries to take it from her, life-threatening scary man comes over, rips the umbrella out of both of their hands, then PICKS UP THE WHEELCHAIR AND DUMPS HIM OUT OF THE CAR ONTO THE PLATFORM!

At this point it’s a giant scene @ the 59^th street station with everyone on the platform stopping to get a glimpse.  I try and sneak out the other end of the car and go upstairs when I see out of the corner of my eye the wheelchair coming at me full-speed, trying to run over me like a battering ram.  I jump out of the way and he slams into the wall....I tell the psycho that I wasn’t even the one who hit him, but he’s foaming at the mouth and tries to attack me again. Jokes on him, though; guess he didn't factor in the many staircases up to the street in his final plot to stop me from passing him on the train."

WOW.  Seriously, 8:30 in the morning is far too early to wage war on an innocent commuter; I'm assuming the end of this story for the crazy includes a few missing teeth and a short dangle over the tracks until MTA security intervened.  Let's hope.