No, you cannot use my AC unit as your brothel

Living in close quarters in New York City you come to expect various unavoidable disturbances.  For example, the grocery store aisles are never wide enough, you have to fight for a washing machine every time at the laundry mat, and you get to know far too much about the guy next to you on the subway.  Yes, you may even expect to hear your neighbors through the paper thins walls, but that's where I draw the line.  While watching a movie in my apartment one night, my roommate and I heard a strange cooing noise that was far too close for comfort.  We've heard this noise before yet it sounded like there was a pigeon about to come straight through our living room window.  Upon further investigation we deducted that the pigeon MUST be stuck in the window AC unit.  Since that did not seem logical, we ran to another window facing the unit to get a better look.

That's when we saw it.  There was not one pigeon. There were two. And to stay they were stuck is an understatement.  Soon the cooing turned into a full-blown mating session- wings flapping, feathers flying in a wildly choreographed rumpus on the window ledge below our air conditioner.  While leaning into the alley out the12-inch wide bathroom window we were able to secure photographic evidence of the culprits in action. If you see these menacing detriments to society, stare at them disapprovingly while they continue their walk of shame around the city.  Just because it's currently pigeon mating season doesn't mean you can utilize our space for your antics. Sorry pigeons, we pay a lot of money to live in this apartment and if you choose to shack up here, we'll have to start charging you rent.