No, you cannot take a nap at a concert

There's nothing like a country concert in Jersey- the boots, the cowboy hats, the guidos and guidettes who seem somehow out of place.  It was an overcast day at the New Meadowlands Stadium, home of the New York Jets, where a slew of interesting tailgates were occurring.  Looking around, I wondered whether some of the people there actually liked Kenny Chesney or simply had heard there was an outdoor party they should attend in the parking lot that day.

Upon entering the packed stadium, we made our way to the third tier with all of the other broke 20-something Manhattanites, finding our seats along with a few empty around us.  As the Zac Brown Band sang us a little Chicken Fried, two men claimed the seats next to us, though their sureness of this choice looked unstable as obviously they were not supposed to be sitting there.  When the actual owners of the seats came a few minutes later, the nomads moved on to empty spaces a couple rows below, along with five other friends.  There they proceeded to smoke and carry on, disturbing our fellow concert-goers who simply came to have a good time and hear some great music.  Eventually, those seats were also taken by the actual ticket holders and all but the original two gentleman (word used loosely) were left to watch the show.  I suppose all of this moving rows tired them out- one of the men left the show completely, while the other, as you can see in the photo below, decided to take a little snooze.  I can't comprehend how one can fall asleep in a packed audience of 55,000 and blaring live music, but this man quieted my nasaying as he proved it can be done.  Saddest part is, his friends left him there and did not return to make sure he was conscious and/or had a ride home.  If the music bores you that much, it's probably safe to say you should have stopped the party at the tailgate.

No, you cannot display your full moon in public

In 1992 New York's highest state court ruled that women can be top-free in public; fortunately during this unnecessary case they did not approve of baring the bottom half, as I'm sure this would have resulted in naked people roaming Manhattan at all times.  While out in the Lower East Side this weekend, my friends and I spotted a large fire engine and 12 firemen standing idly on the corner.  You'd think there was some sort of emergency with all of the commotion, but alas they were a little too preoccupied to be putting out any fires.  There, standing outside of Spitzer's, was the real show stopper- a girl with her ass completely hanging out, dress flapping in the wind.  Best part was not only had she been standing there for quite some time, but had fully mooned the entire squadron of FDNY Engine 9, Ladder 6 without one of them pointing out her wardrobe malfunction.  I felt bad forcing my friend to stop texting and start taking some photos, but this moment doesn't come often enough to go without notice.  Let's learn something from our illegal friend here, shall we?

1. Avoid dresses made with back closure apparatus 
2. If you feel a breeze in places you usually don't, it's probably a good idea to assess the situation
3. And most importantly, always sport cute underwear because you never know who may see it